“If my life was a movie”
An idea that every teenager has thought about at least once. And unsurprisingly so do I. But from a different perspective.
You see, I have never felt like a protagonist in my own life. Not a “protagonist” protagonist. Do you get me? Sure, you don’t. No one does.
Movies in our times are more about the heroic stuff a person does than the humane part of their personality. What that person does for himself. And to be really honest, I don’t feel like I have done anything heroic in my life at all. An average looking, average student, with average dreams to sustain me and people I “love”. That’s all I have ever wanted. Or probably my mind wanted me to want. My low self-confidence wanted me to want. Does it even make sense? I have no real clue.
I put love in double quotations above because of the same reason as I see my life. You see, I get sceptical about things, and love being the major part in it. I have no idea how or why I fall in love, or if I have at all. It’s just all the time I’ve liked to the core, either they left me, they had to leave me or vice-versa, or they never had me in the first place. And that is so not your “protagonist” story. Is it?
I don’t crave for anything fancy in my life. I never have. I always knew that there was no point in doing so. Being like the average guy as I am, we are not the first pick most of the time, and I’ve made peace with it. But maybe beneath the peace, war roars. A war between this low self-esteemed “writer” and a hopeless romantic who wants to find his knight in shining armour. Oh boy, doesn’t he know that society doesn’t let us find one, but expects us to be one?
This is my escape from the real world. Writing and people reading my words. My heart. But with my readership shrinking, my escape is escaping. But does it even make any sense? I guess not.
-SCAS.
The Writing Of SCAS. 